The masculine behaviours that push a man away, an article for the woman who wants to restore the feminine-masculine polarity in her romantic relationships.

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Whether you’re in a marriage, a live-in partnership or are dating to meet your forever one, if you have the habit of mothering your man/the men you’re seeing then you might be doing more harm than good to your romantic life.

Not many of us women know this but mothering (and smothering) is a key form of the masculine, providing energy. 

We women were gifted this masculine energy in so much abundance for a specific reason.

It was so we could nurture all that we birth– our offsprings, our creative projects, our acts of service to the world.

Anything except our romantic partner (especially in the early stages of romance).

This seemingly harmless act when in excess works like a slow poison in your love life. Subsequently, killing the romance in your relationship, one act of giving at a time. If your partner is indeed an embodied masculine man at his core, he gradually starts feeling turned off by these gestures. 

He feels emasculated by you

He feels repelled by the duality of masculine energy in his romantic relationship with you. In other words, his masculine energy repels your masculine energy of mothering and smothering him.

Doesn’t feel like your hero anymore.

He wants you to know that he doesn’t need any saving from you. He wants to be the one to save you, provide for you and serve you. Not the other way around.

Feels resentful towards you.

He feels as if he is being stripped off the honour of being the leader in your relationship. His natural instinct is to lead, provide and give to the ones he loves. And that for him, begins with you.

Of course, men don’t say this in as many words. In fact, more often than not, they don’t even actively realise when these behaviours begin to impact them. 

All they notice and wonder about (provided they still care for the relationship) is “Why don’t I feel attracted to my partner anymore?”

In all other cases, you hear examples of unrest, infidelity, separation, etc in a relationship.

The causes

Some of the ways this happens is when you subconsciously start practising the common masculine behaviours like

• meeting your date halfway to make things easier for him.

• not letting the man on a romantic date pay for the both of you. (insisting on a 50-50, thanks to distorted concepts of feminism)

• having trouble receiving the love, affection, gestures of your man / the men you’re seeing.

• treating your partner like your 1 year toddler who can’t fend for himself.

• over giving to your relationship in form of unnecessary domestic labor, overdoing for your partner. 

• trying to fix his problems with your unsolicited advice or actions.

(I share more about these disruptors of romantic polarity in my book Becoming a Goddess in love.)

My natural flow of writing this post suggests I should now give you examples of how you can stop this. How you can stop smothering/ mothering your partner and save the romantic health of your relationship. 

But then I stop. Any of these suggestions without a deeper understanding of this issue would be just another superficial strategy.

Here’s what I’d rather share with you. 

When you’re in this process of mothering, smothering, providing for your man, you’re massively disturbing the polarity of your romantic relationship.

This feminine-masculine polarity is the key source of attraction in your relationship.

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3 laws of feminine-masculine polarity

Also known as relationship polarity, feminine-masculine polarity is the natural, effortless attraction between a man and a woman that remains in force as long as the man stays in alignment with his masculine energy and the woman continues to embody her feminine energy.

In a heterosexual relationship, the man is the masculine partner and the woman is the feminine one. This attraction is is governed by the following three simple laws.

First law: Feminine and masculine are the two ends of nature’s energy spectrum.

Second law: These two energies are polar opposite in nature. They relate to each other like magnets- similar repel, opposites attract.

Third law: So long as the man and the woman are embodying their respective polar opposite energies, the attraction between them remains in force effortlessly.

These laws are pure science. Just like the laws of gravity for instance. 

The only two scenarios in which this polarity gets disturbed are:

• When the man is disembodied. That is, he is no more able to lead/ provide/ hold space for his feminine partner and stops doing the work to win her heart. 

• When the woman is disembodied. That is, she starts chasing/ leading/ smothering/ providing for her masculine partner. And is not able to relax back in her innate worthiness to receive the offerings of her partner. 

journey deeper

As the feminine partner in your relationship, you can take responsibility of your energy and avoid the disturbance in this romantic polarity.

You can begin by practicing slowing down in your everyday life. Gradually connecting to your feminine gifts of feeling, flowing, being in your body. 

It helps to spend few mins everyday connecting to this energy that is already present in your body, waiting to be tapped into. 

If you’re looking for a self-paced resource to connect with this magnetic feminine energy pulsating through your body, you may explore Rise with the Feminine, my 7-step feminine energy activation program.

This program will help you somatically embody your feminine essence and show you how to live, love + lead from your feminine heart and power. 

Here’s where you can learn more about this powerful offering.

related reading

If there’s anything that does its magic in igniting a man’s desire for you, it is the powerful combination of your vulnerability and embodied boundaries. This hypnotic combination is what drives a man crazy for you regardless of how new or old your relationship is. It is what leaves your imprint on a man’s mind when he is getting to know you. A man may eventually forget how physically attractive you were when he first met you.  What he will never forget is how you made him feel by practising this hypnotic combination of your vulnerability + embodied boundaries. Read this article to learn how to ignite a man’s desire for you.