Reclaiming your worth in love
Reclaiming your worth in love, an article for the woman who wants to feel worthy of the love, affection and adoration her man/ the men she is dating send her way.
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When I first entered the scene of modern dating in my later twenties, I was a first time single woman since the age of 17.
I had no idea of how modern dating worked, I never had to download a dating app because there were enough men around me to choose from and get into an instant relationship with. (like Liz says in Eat Pray Love, I was either breaking up with a guy or entering into a relationship with another guy!)
But the damage that my last relationship caused to my self-esteem made me completely forget who I was.
And so, even though I didn’t have any of the skills of feminine embodiment that I teach in my work today, I couldn’t help but notice how attractive I was for the men online.
I was observing how in less than 15 mins, my profile would have hundreds of men of different colours, nationalities, ethnicities swiping on me.
I was paying attention to how some men would even travel all the way from Abu Dhabi to come meet me at the other end in Dubai.
Deep within, I didn’t feel worthy of all that attention and affection and yet there was a part of me curious to know what was it that made so many men want to get a minute of my time.
In those early months, I was once on a date with a man who was consistently pursuing me. He paused eating and looked into my eyes and said to me, “Can I ask you a favour? I nodded.
He continued, “I don’t like it so much when you do all the work of planning our dates. I want to please you not the other way round. Can you let me do that?”
And the rest, as they, is history.
My hyper-masculine behaviour drove him way, soon after which I set inwards on an exploratory journey to understand what this man meant, and why did I not feel worthy of being the prize a man so desperately wants to claim and cherish.
That was precisely when my journey of feminine embodiment in love started.
Today, I can tell you this with utmost surety that you, a woman, is the ultimate prize that any man would consider himself fortunate of receiving.
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You don’t have to lift a finger and there will be guys willing to devote themselves to you, serve you with their leadership for almost nothing in return.
Because they know that you, the woman, is the prize in love.
It is this same reason why a man will go down on one knee to ask a woman to marry him, why he will put himself in that vulnerable position when he takes the emotional risk of expressing his love out aloud.
Men know the power women hold in a relationship.
And it is for the very fear of this power as to why a lot of disembodied men will string along women in years of relationships without offering them the commitment they desire. (unless of course, they’re carrying their own fears of commitment)
Embodied men know this power and revere and worship it. Disembodied ones will do anything to dominate or evade the impact of this power.
My clients who are single & dating don’t just meet a guy on a dating app and agree to his proposal to move-in, to become his girlfriend when they are looking for a commitment like a lifelong partnership.
I feel no more shame in sharing it with the world how many girlfriend proposals, how many requests to move in, etc. have I refused in the last couple of years.
That’s the magic of your embodied self-worth. Once you have seen it, you can’t un-see it. Once you have felt it in your being, you can not not feel it.
No matter how strong the attraction, no matter what a ‘catch’ the guy in front of you is, you won’t be able to override your heart’s desires and settle for anything less that what you truly desire and deserve.
You know your worth, you see it, you feel it, you honour it.
Ten out of ten times, the women who approach me to work on the romantic polarity in their relationships, see things turn around the moment they start reclaiming their worth in their love lives.
Previously disconnected from their feminine essence (and their self-worth as a result), their men start seeing them when they start seeing themselves.. in all their glory, in all their magnificence.
If you’ve read my first book, you know the kind of proposals I have said no to. Simply because I see who I am, because I know what’s my worth and because I know what I’m here for when it comes to my desires in love. There’s no shame, there’s no resistance in honouring my deepest desire for a partnership that’s worthy of my heart, my essence and my presence.
journey deeper
This element, the element of your embodied self-worth, is the heart of your feminine energetics in love.
One that can be embodied by somatically liberating all the barriers that are in the way of your connection with it. One can be somatically felt and integrated in your being.
Reclaiming our worth is a skill that can be learnt and practiced until it becomes a part of our nature.
A skill that I teach my clients in my 7-step feminine energy activation program Rise with the Feminine.
If you’re looking for a self-study resource to reclaim your worth in love and in life, you are welcome to explore this offering where I guide you to reconnect and anchor in your feminine value of enough-ness and live, love & lead from your feminine heart and power.
Here’s where you can learn more about its powerful inclusions:
related reading
In my experience of working with women, I have noticed how it isn’t for the lack of our decisiveness that we say yes to men with traits we don’t want. It is our : 1. lack of clarity around what we truly, truly desire in love and in life, and 2. lack of self worth, that feeling of “who am I to want more”, that leads us to settle for whatever ‘decent’ comes along. Read this article to learn how to cultivate clarity around your desires in love.
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