Balancing your feminine and masculine energy in love

Balancing your feminine and masculine energy in love

Balancing your feminine and masculine energy in love, an article for the woman who wants to restore the feminine-masculine polarity in her romantic life.

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Let’s look at this little conversation taking place between your inner feminine and masculine energy before an evening date.

Your Inner Feminine (IF): I had such a fruitful day at work today, thank you for leading the way for us.

Your Inner Masculine (IM): Of course, I am here for us always. So…are you ready for your date?

IF: Absolutely!

IM: Aw..I’m so excited for you!

IF: And me, I am so grateful for you! Thank you for driving us till here!

IM: Anything for your beauty! Oh..here comes your date. It’s time for me to go now. You shine your light!

So as you just witnessed here our masculine energy is our action oriented energy- the one that’s about leading, achieving, conquering, making things happen. In short, it’s our ‘doing’ energy.

And our feminine is our feeling oriented energy- the one that’s about surrendering, receiving, responding, being empathetic, staying connected to your sensations. In short, it’s our ‘being’ energy.

Now when we’re on our dates or in presence of our romantic partner, the key to building polarity in our interactions/ relationship is knowing when and how to melt our masculine energetic shield and simply be, simply relax in our feminine energy.

The important question here is- if we have both our feminine and masculine energy inherent in us, then why does the above not come to us instinctively?

Why do we struggle to relax in our feminine energy when we are around an already masculine energy man? Especially since we organically identify on the more feminine end of nature’s energy spectrum.

Let’s look at these two powerful reasons why:

Reason 1: Our hyper-masculine conditioning

We are doers by our conditioning. While living in this hyper- masculine world that values momentum, achievement and that hustle-oriented attitude more than anything else, we have been trained to believe in the importance of this masculine way of living life.

It is natural then, that we women too despite being abundantly endowed with our own feminine gifts, sign up to the masculine art of living. 

Like, going after what we want, working hard for our goals, trying to win at almost all walks of our life. No matter what the cost.

What no one tells us though is that this go-go, achievement oriented way of doing life, is not the way we were designed to do romantic relationships.

What no one teaches us is the art of our feminine embodiment in life and in love. What no one tells us about is the power of our innate feminine magnetism.

Unless it’s something we see role-modelled to us by the women in our homes, in our social circles, this art remains unknown to us. Until we reach a point where our masculine ways of loving & doing romantic relationships stop yielding any results!

As a result of which, we find ourselves

  • attracting the most disembodied masculine/ passive men,
  • repelling the high-value ones, 
  • repeatedly failing to have the love & commitment our heart truly yearns for.

It is then we start to wonder if there’s something wrong with us. That whether we are not worthy of love, drowning ourselves in a millions of doubts & fears about our enough-ness.

The truth all this while being- there is nothing wrong with us. There never was.

We didn’t learn in our schools the skills we needed to do life as a woman who is connected with her feminine essence and power.


Want to learn the secrets that make a woman magnetic? Download your free copy of the Magnetic Woman guide here.


Our mentors didn’t necessarily train us to acknowledge & celebrate our powerful feminine gifts. We weren’t taught that in order to get equally successful in love, we need to do less & start being more (the core quality of our feminine essence).

And guess what, our inner masculine isn’t our foe. It’s a powerful energy after all. If it wasn’t for this action-oriented energy in us, we wouldn’t be able to even get out of the bed in the morning!

Of course, you need this energy to do what needs to be done in order to fulfil our aspirations, desires, goals and dreams. We all do, regardless of our energetic orientation.

However, this energy isn’t our best friend when it comes to our love life. Especially if we are dating or are already in a relationship with a man who is a high value, embodied masculine man.

Which brings me to the second reason as to why we struggle with balancing our feminine and masculine energy in our love life.

Reason 2. The lack of understanding about romantic polarity

If you have spoken to me or worked with me, you’d know I’m a science nerd. So let me explain this point to you via some powerful logic. 

We cannot force a magnet to be attracted to another piece of magnet. 

Simply because they are made up of the same energies.

But when we place it close to a metal, the force of attraction is so strong that it gets pulled towards the metal almost effortlessly.

Conclusion? 

  • Similar energies repel.
  • Opposite energies attract.

An embodied man already has a lot of masculine energy in him. He wants to expend this energy, he is always waiting for a chance to put this energy into use.

In the practical world, when he comes across a woman, an individual who is bringing that same energy in their interactions, this is what happens:

  • He feels repelled.
  • There is no space for him to use his masculine energy.
  • He wants to give to her, but she is not able to receive from him. And is only concerned about giving him back.
  • He desires to be the leader in the relationship but she wants to lead too. (POV: two people pulling the rope in opposite directions) 

He really wants to feel attracted to this woman who he finds absolutely gorgeous, but he cannot do anything about it!

Just as a magnet cannot force itself to be attracted to another magnet, no matter how beautiful magnet that is! 

Now imagine when he comes across a woman rooted in her sensual, soft, feeling feminine energy.

  • He offers, she receives.
  • She is happy to follow when he leads the way.
  • He chases her, she lets him. 

The attraction is inevitable.

He can’t help it, he can’t resist it.

Just how if a magnet doesn’t want to be attracted to the metal, it cannot help it.

It’s the powerful law of polarity in action.

journey deeper

I share about this phenomenon in my ebook Becoming a Goddess in love in so much depth because this knowledge is a life saver to romantic relationships, to your dating interactions and everything that has to do with attraction between two individuals who are of polar opposite energies- which in this case is you and your man/ your dates. If you’d like to learn how to use the laws of romantic polarity to turn your love life around, you can explore this powerful book here.

And if you’re desiring to learn the skills of feminine embodiment in love in an intimate support container, you’re welcome to work with me in my private coaching program, Goddess in love. This program has been curated for a woman who wants to attract her wildest desires in love using the skills of feminine embodiment. Here’s where you can learn more about this offering and explore the next steps.

related reading

Contrary to a very popular belief system, our femininity goes far beyond our ‘feminine’ dresses, colours, appearances. It has everything to do with our energy of receptivity, sensitivity, sensuality, vulnerability and more. Our feminine embodiment is the portal to our power. Power that’s rooted in our worthiness, embodied boundaries & embodied presence. A woman connected to her feminine essence is (energetically) soft on the outside and (energetically) strong on the outside. In the space of her love life, she brings her whole (healed) self and lets the man/men her witness her in her radiant femininity. Read this article to learn the 5 signs that convey if you’re embodying your feminine essence in your love life. 

The masculine behaviours that push a man away

The masculine behaviours that push a man away

The masculine behaviours that push a man away, an article for the woman who wants to restore the feminine-masculine polarity in her romantic relationships.

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Whether you’re in a marriage, a live-in partnership or are dating to meet your forever one, if you have the habit of mothering your man/the men you’re seeing then you might be doing more harm than good to your romantic life.

Not many of us women know this but mothering (and smothering) is a key form of the masculine, providing energy. 

We women were gifted this masculine energy in so much abundance for a specific reason.

It was so we could nurture all that we birth– our offsprings, our creative projects, our acts of service to the world.

Anything except our romantic partner (especially in the early stages of romance).

This seemingly harmless act when in excess works like a slow poison in your love life. Subsequently, killing the romance in your relationship, one act of giving at a time. If your partner is indeed an embodied masculine man at his core, he gradually starts feeling turned off by these gestures. 

He feels emasculated by you

He feels repelled by the duality of masculine energy in his romantic relationship with you. In other words, his masculine energy repels your masculine energy of mothering and smothering him.

Doesn’t feel like your hero anymore.

He wants you to know that he doesn’t need any saving from you. He wants to be the one to save you, provide for you and serve you. Not the other way around.

Feels resentful towards you.

He feels as if he is being stripped off the honour of being the leader in your relationship. His natural instinct is to lead, provide and give to the ones he loves. And that for him, begins with you.

Of course, men don’t say this in as many words. In fact, more often than not, they don’t even actively realise when these behaviours begin to impact them. 

All they notice and wonder about (provided they still care for the relationship) is “Why don’t I feel attracted to my partner anymore?”

In all other cases, you hear examples of unrest, infidelity, separation, etc in a relationship.

The causes

Some of the ways this happens is when you subconsciously start practising the common masculine behaviours like

  • meeting your date halfway to make things easier for him.
  • not letting the man on a romantic date pay for the both of you. (insisting on a 50-50, thanks to distorted concepts of feminism)
  • having trouble receiving the love, affection, gestures of your man / the men you’re seeing.
  • treating your partner like your 1 year toddler who can’t fend for himself.
  • over giving to your relationship in form of unnecessary domestic labor, overdoing for your partner. 
  • trying to fix his problems with your unsolicited advice or actions.

My natural flow of writing this post suggests I should now give you examples of how you can stop this. How you can stop smothering/ mothering your partner and save the romantic health of your relationship. 

But then I stop. Any of these suggestions without a deeper understanding of this issue would be just another superficial strategy.

Here’s what I’d rather share with you. 

When you’re in this process of mothering, smothering, providing for your man, you’re massively disturbing the polarity of your romantic relationship.

This feminine-masculine polarity is the key source of attraction in your relationship.


Want to learn the secrets that make a woman magnetic? Download your free copy of the Magnetic Woman guide here.


3 laws of feminine-masculine polarity

Also known as relationship polarity, feminine-masculine polarity is the natural, effortless attraction between a man and a woman that remains in force as long as the man stays in alignment with his masculine energy and the woman continues to embody her feminine energy.

In a heterosexual relationship, the man is the masculine partner and the woman is the feminine one. This attraction is is governed by the following three simple laws.

First law: Feminine and masculine are the two ends of nature’s energy spectrum.

Second law: These two energies are polar opposite in nature. They relate to each other like magnets- similar repel, opposites attract.

Third law: So long as the man and the woman are embodying their respective polar opposite energies, the attraction between them remains in force effortlessly.

These laws are pure science. Just like the laws of gravity for instance. 

The only two scenarios in which this polarity gets disturbed are:

  • When the man is disembodied. That is, he is no more able to lead/ provide/ hold space for his feminine partner and stops doing the work to win her heart. 
  • When the woman is disembodied. That is, she starts chasing/ leading/ smothering/ providing for her masculine partner. And is not able to relax back in her innate worthiness to receive the offerings of her partner. 

journey deeper

As the feminine partner in your relationship, you can take responsibility of your energy and avoid the disturbance in this romantic polarity.

You can begin by practicing slowing down in your everyday life. Gradually connecting to your feminine gifts of feeling, flowing, being in your body. 

It helps to spend few mins everyday connecting to this energy that is already present in your body, waiting to be tapped into. 

If needed, you can explore working with me in a private coaching space to connect with this magnetic feminine energy flowing through you. If you’d like that, here’s where you can learn more about my 1-1 offerings and explore the next steps.

And if you prefer a self-study resource, you can learn how to apply these laws of feminine-masculine polarity in your love life through my powerful book Becoming a Goddess in love. It devotes an entire module of three chapters to this knowledge alone. Elaborating on how differently do high value masculine men function in love and explaining why implementing the laws of feminine-masculine polarity is the key to success in romantic relationships. You can learn more about it here.

related reading

If there’s anything that does its magic in igniting a man’s desire for you, it is the powerful combination of your vulnerability and embodied boundaries. This hypnotic combination is what drives a man crazy for you regardless of how new or old your relationship is. It is what leaves your imprint on a man’s mind when he is getting to know you. A man may eventually forget how physically attractive you were when he first met you.  What he will never forget is how you made him feel by practising this hypnotic combination of your vulnerability + embodied boundaries. Read this article to learn how to ignite a man’s desire for you.