How do you measure your self-worth?

How do you measure your self-worth?

How do you measure your self-worth? An article for the woman who wants to reconnect with the unconditionality of her self-worth.


Do you measure your worthiness through your job? Or do you measure it through the amount of money you earn? Is there another external, transient factor that has got you attaching your inherent worth to it?

If you’re here reading this, chances are you have chosen to be a worldly being. And in that capacity, we obviously need most of the above mentioned forms of rewards to sustain life in the most thriving manner. 

The problem occurs when any of these become the source of self-worth for us. Even worse if these external sources run dry/ empty of their supply of worth for us.

We losing a job is a possibility. Our company going under a restructuring is possible too. The incoming flow of wealth getting disrupted is another scenario. The rapidly changing landscape of social relationships can cost us some of ours too.

The questions to reflect upon are, 

What happens to your life when any/all of these are gone? 

What happens to your sense of inner balance if one or more of these sources of your worthiness go missing? 

As you read the next few lines, take a moment to close your eyes and strip away everything you attach your worth to. Your job, your career, your money, your romantic/ social connections, everything outside of you. 

Who are you now? 

How does it feel to be with yourself? 

Do you like the woman you are? 

Can you wrap your arms around her and still tell her that you love and accept her, from the core of your heart? 

How we feel within ourselves, with this version of us sans all our external, transient sources of worth- is all that matters. 

If that relationship feels whole and complete, we celebrate it, we deepen it further. If it doesn’t, we give ourselves the permission to turn within and ask, “Why is it that I don’t feel worthy by just being me?

Our relationship with our worthiness is always an inside job, dear one. Our worth is innate, it’s ever-present, it is precious. 

We don’t need to downgrade it by measuring it up against a transient title, the dollar we earn, the status our romantic relationships hold. 


Let’s take a moment now and think of our self-worth as a naturally flowing waterfall that we are born with an exclusive access to. It is available with an unlimited source of water, ever present for us. 

We live under that waterfall, soaking ourselves with its water on harsh hot days any and every time we want. We don’t have to give, to do, to prove anything to keep that waterfall of self-worth flowing forever. 

Now imagine growing up in an environment where our self-worth starts to get compared and measured- in form of our looks, our grades, our size, our skin color, our voice, our achievements, etc.

What happens then?

We start depending on external validation to feel worthy. We start relying upon our community, our partner/the men in our dating circle to bring buckets of water to cool off the heat of unworthiness. Totally forgetting that we live under our own waterfall of self worth. And that we don’t need anyone else’s buckets of validation to feel worthy. 

When we begin our journey of feminine embodiment, we learn how to identify and liberate this dependency on all external sources of our self worth and connect with our enough-ness effortlessly. 

We start showing up in our love life anchored in this truth, no longer feeling the urge to give, to provide, to match the love, affection and attention we receive from the man/men we’re seeing.

As a result, we are able to receive all of that love, the compliments, the offerings like a Goddess exuding her warmth and gratitude without clinging onto any of those gifts. 

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Similarly in areas of our leadership & business, we can show up with as much integrity towards ourselves as we hold for the job we’re set out to complete. Thus living our life in connection with this enough-ness, under this waterfall of our innate self-worth once again. 

Not only are we able to release the need to chase a man begging him for buckets of validation but also let go of the urge to people-please just so they can see our worth in our work..and may be even reward us for that.

That is we embodying our feminine essence in its most natural, primal form.

This energy is what creates the magic for us. When we can sit across the table and look into the eyes of the person we’re negotiating with, we are telling them via more than just our words that I am here for more and I am not willing to settle for anything lesser.

This applies just as much as to our work front as much as it does to our preferences in dating/relationships. 

It is far more powerful than any negotiation tactic we’ll ever learn. Because this energy with which we approach our negotiations in life and relationships is oozing with our sincerity, our authenticity of our deservingness.

Our feminine essence, the one we were inherently born with, is replete with our worthiness, our enough-ness. When we are connected with this essence, we don’t need to measure our self-worth with anything outside of us. We understand that it just is.

journey deeper

If you would like to cultivate a solid, potent relationship with your feminine energy of worthiness in an intimate support container, here’s where you can learn more about my 1-1 offerings and explore the next steps.

And if you’re looking for a self-paced resource to learn from, I invite you to explore Rise with the Feminine, my 7-step feminine energy activation program. In Step 3 of this transformative process, I share with you the skills to somatically restore your connection with your innate self-worth and create ripples of embodied change in the way you live, love and lead. 

Here‘s where you can learn more about this powerful offering.

related reading

Our inner wild woman is the one who shows us the way to follow the beating of our hearts and walk in the direction of our desires. She is the one that reminds us of our inherent worthiness when we have forgotten our value, our glory, our magnificence. Read this article to learn how to reconnect with your inner wild woman.