Staying soft when life feels hard, an article for the woman who wants to cross over to the other side of hard times while staying connected to her softness, ease and pleasure.

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If you have been following my work for a while, you’d know about my love for an ease-filled life.

Every time I hear someone say things like that hard work is the key to success, or there’s no gain without pain, my heart so lovingly wants to remind them that ease (and pleasure) is always available for us, whenever and however we want. 

Full transparency, I live in the same world as believers of the hustle culture and so I understand where this advice originates from.

Life can get really tricky sometimes. Even if we have all the support, all the luxuries of life, there are always going to be some days when life feels really hard.

So what do we do then? 

In my lived experience, there are always two choices in front of us.

We can either get in the hustle trap, using all our energy to push through, striving to somehow fix the problem on the outside. 

Or we can stay soft when life feels hard, 

practice the life-giving art of surrender, 

turning inwards and pausing in this tricky situation that is here with a medicine/lesson for us,

and connect with the flow of our life.

I have come to learn that the more I practice the art of feminine embodiment, the more I naturally gravitate towards the second choice. Having lived most of my life making the first choice, nothing feels as good as the latter way of living- the ease-filled, feminine way of my living. 

3 steps for staying soft when life feels hard

And so, here’s sharing with you 3 steps from my lived experience through which you can cross over to the other side of a challenge while staying connected to your softness, ease and flow.

This work is always inside out so you’ll notice that these steps follow the same map.

Step 1. Soften and surrender in your body.

When you find yourself in a hard moment, practice slowing down and consciously melting and softening into your presence – physical, mental, emotional and energetic- in any given order.

How I do it is- if I am standing up in that moment, I lean towards a supportive structure or sit down or lie down if I am at home. Then I loosen my jaw, my shoulders, my arms, my legs and slowly my whole body.

And then I melt my consciousness in my body surrendering to the present moment using the support of my breath. I pay attention to the flow of my breath and observe my sensations arising on or inside my body.

Next, I explore and choose a thread of pleasure anywhere within my body. Even when I am bawling in pain or feeling like the world would end for me in that moment, there’s always one feel good sensation that I can find and move deeper into the heart of.

The more I revel in the aliveness that thread of pleasure has for me, the more I feel better. 

I start feeling held, supported, provided for and taken care of. 

It feels surprising indeed, or rather used to, when I first started dealing with life’s hard moments like this.

I would notice how my pleasure and pain could co-exist and feel valid at the same time. The more I would stay connected to my body, connected to my heart, the more I would be able to surrender in the given moment and prepare myself to receive the medicine it had brought for me.

(If you’d like to become self-sufficient in this art of connecting with your sensual aliveness that’s pulsating in your body 24×7, 365 days a year, you can learn that with my Primal Feminine Moving Meditation, the Sensual Flow PFMM.)

Step 2. Express and liberate the hardness. 

You must have noticed how when life feels hard, you can feel that there’s some sort of heaviness, constriction, or frozen energy that comes to the surface of your consciousness.

It may be physical, a physical sensation that may feel like a knot in your body. Or mental, like a lot of negativity that you feel in your thoughts. It could also feel emotional, where you feel hopeless and devoid of any faith towards things changing for you. Or it can be energetic wherein you can feel your energy being pulled down in form of a downward spiral that leaves you feeling exhausted and depleted.

Usually, the way we have been taught to do life is to ignore these constrictions, this frozen energy in our body and just march forward, pushing ourselves against the flow of our life.

Completely ignoring the message the present moment is here to deliver to us. And marching through life as if that constriction (to the flow of our life) is meaningless.

This is how our toxic masculine systems encourage us to live life. And we all know what does that result in.

Either what we were striving towards doesn’t feel as rewarding as we had thought it would. Or we end up burning ourselves out in this process eventually.

What no one tells us is that direction is important, but depth is integral to our intention of living a meaningful, richness filled life.

And for that it’s imperative that once you have softened yourself in your body in any given hard moment, you express and liberate that feeling of hardness, of constriction, of pain from your body.

You’ll notice how every time you liberate a thread of frozen energy from your body when life feels hard, you discover a valuable insight about yourself, about that situation, about your own life that goes on to enrich your life in SO many ways.

(If you’d like to learn this art of embodied liberation, you may explore my Primal Feminine Moving meditation, the Liberate & Flow.)  

Step 3. Self-source your next step.

After you’ve softened in the present moment and have liberated all the prominent constrictions and obstructions from your consciousness, you’ll notice how you’re now able to connect to your heart & to your intuition.

You’re now feeling connected to the flow in your body and that in turn, connects you to the flow of life outside of you.

As you pay attention to your body’s knowings, the intuitive cues, you’re able to self-source your next action step with a calm mind and a peaceful heart.

More often than not, there’s an insight or two you gain about yourself as well. Something that guides you in your decisions around such difficult moments if they ever arise in future.

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So here’s the thing, loves.

This feminine ease is a choice. Just like hustle is.

What makes a softened life so much juicier is that when we learn to live life this way, 

• our devotion towards what we do replaces hard work. 
• our ease makes what we do so pleasurable. 
• And we learn to derive joy and fulfilment even in the most mundane occurrences of our life.

This applies to the way we date, to the way we play our leadership roles, to the way we interact in our social relationships and more.

Remember, no matter what your outside circumstances look like, this ease is always available for you. 

The more skilled you become at tuning into your inherent ease, softness and flow, the more of it you magnetise in your outer 3D world. 

journey deeper

And so, if you’re looking for a self-paced resource to learn how to stay connected with your softness when life meets you with a challenge, I invite you to explore my core feminine embodiment course, Your Magnetic Femininity. This all-encompassing offering will help you recondition your hyper-masculine ways of living, working, loving and return home to your feminine, feeling, naturally magnetic nature.

(Please note that the Sensual Flow and Liberate & Flow PFMMs are included as bonus offerings in Your Magnetic Femininity course.)