How to gain clarity around your desires in love, an article for the woman desiring to attract a partner who is a vibrational match to her core values.

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For a couple of weeks during the pandemic years I spent in India, I once tried exploring what online dating looked in that part of the world.

One of the dating matches I connected with was a CEO of a popular digital marketing firm in the country. 

Within five mins of speaking with him on the phone, I knew I was never going to see this man in real life.

On the outside, he had everything going great. He was extremely well spoken, well educated, drop-dead handsome and had overflowing resources in his life- everything that would be enough for a woman desiring to lead a life of comfort.

But his core values- that were screaming through the way he spoke about himself and the world- were in complete dissonance with mine. 

I could so easily imagine the life I would be living if I was to say yes to seeing this man who I can tell you would have proposed to me within the next few months. 

But just the idea of that life made me want to throw up right there. Sure he was a commitment-minded man but that wasn’t enough for me to give him a chance.

When he asked me when he could see me (for the third time in that call), I had to say never. And I told him why. 

What he said in return made my heart both swell in pride and heave a sigh of relief at the same time, reaffirming my faith in this work I do as a feminine embodiment expert.

To quote his actual response, “Well, I wonder what makes you think we want different things from life. But thanks for being so decisive and letting me know. This is the most sincere conversation I’ve ever had with a *dating app name* match.”

In a few seconds, I realised what a favour I had done to this man and most of all to ME!  Saving us both days, weeks and for all you know, months of agony and misery. 

In my experience of working with women,

I have noticed how it isn’t for the lack of our decisiveness that we say yes to men with traits we don’t want. It is our :

1. lack of clarity around what we truly, truly desire in love and in life, and 

2. lack of self worth, that feeling of “who am I to want more”, that leads us to settle for whatever ‘decent’ comes along. 

Becoming clear on what our heart TRULY desires and following through on it is one of the biggest acts of self-service we can participate in. 

Let us understand this with an example.

So I invite you to think of an instance when you’re preparing to go to someplace new (and exciting). 

Imagine getting in your car, starting the engine and getting on the main road not knowing how to get there. You could keep driving, blindly guessing the routes, the directions. You would get lost on your way, feel utterly confused and eventually frustrated, right? 

The initial excitement of reaching this destination would turn into complete disappointment. You would be exhausted and put off this visit to another day, another time. 

But what if you had entered the destination in your GPS and then followed that route? Everything would look so different, wouldn’t it? 

All you’d have to do is relax in your driving seat and let the directions on the navigation app guide you until you reach your destination. 

You could apply the same example to when you get in a cab and let the driver know where you want to go. The driver would use his knowledge about the routes or use the GPS to comfortably get you where you want to go.

Let’s apply this to your love life now.

Your journey towards the love you desire feels similar when you haven’t made it clear to yourself what values you really want in a romantic partner. 

The clearer we can get about our own values, preferences, desires, the easier it feels to get to our destination. This clarity stays with our consciousness (and the subconscious) acting like our inner GPS guiding us on our path to a blissful, ease and fun-filled love life. 

The courage to follow through on what we actually want in our life comes from the place of embodying our feminine essence of self-belief, enough-ness and confidence in what we want. We can use this sense of self-worth to fuel our actions to-

~ zoom out & look at the bigger picture,

~ connect with our desires, and

~ make our choices from that place. 

journey deeper

If you’d like the support of a self-paced resource to develop clarity around your desires in love, you may gift yourself the wisdom shared in my book Becoming a Goddess in love. 

Consisting of 9 parts, this ebook will show you how to reclaim your feminine essence, radiance & power and use it all to revolutionise your love life. So many women from around the globe have used the concepts of feminine embodiment shared in this book to transform their love lives.

Here’s where you can learn more about its powerful contents.

related reading

Learning how to understand the language of our intuition is a skill, a very important one at that. Especially when we are in the process of cultivating clarity around our desires in love. Read this article to learn how to connect with your her intuitive intelligence and let it guide you in the process of attracting a man who matches your core values.