Filling your own cup first

April 10, 2023

Filling your own cup first, an article for the woman who wants to learn how to care for herself in an embodied way.

Many moons ago when I used to live a very different kind of life in Dubai, I remember I once came home from a miserable day at work, forced myself to put a dress on and went out to meet a social commitment. 

What was worse…later that night, I uploaded my picture on my Instagram account with the caption “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up” and woke up to some 200+ likes next morning…signifying everything that’s possibly wrong with the current state of our world. 

When and how did we start celebrating this hustle oriented way of life?, I find myself often pondering on this question, every time I think of this memory from some five years ago. 

Sure my life looks completely different now..I allow myself to take unannounced breaks from the not-so-critical commitments when my body demands slowing down. (woman cave to the rescue!)

In the hyper-masculine world we are a part of, it is, in fact, a personal feat to start living, working and loving at the pace of our body.

I am sharing this reflection today so you understand how this helps you in your love life as well..

When you’re used to suppressing your body’s sensations, its demands for rest & relaxation…it slowly starts numbing your actual desires too, even the most minuscule needs that truly matter in the grander scheme of your love life. 

For instance, you come back from work exhausted, tired, perhaps even frustrated and then force yourself to get dressed and step out for a date with your dating match or with your committed partner.

Without even realising, you’ve chosen to numb this rather loud desire for rest+rejuvenation and gone ahead to offer your presence to another person with a depleted body at all levels (emotionally, mentally, physically and energetically) 

Showing up from this disembodied space to meet this romantic commitment doesn’t serve anyone. Like, are we really expecting another person to like us for dishonouring our own self in the first place?!

In contrast, when you slow down to tune into your body’s sensations, you may realise that perhaps you don’t really have the energy to go on this date today. 

Or perhaps you are not even inspired enough to get ready to go meet that new person. And perhaps you’re still carrying an unaddressed grudge towards your partner and you don’t feel like moving on without having that expressed first. 

Filling your own cup first

Here’s what I’d like you to remember:

No embodied masculine man who is interested in you will disappear from your dating circle if you refuse to meet him at the last hour, just because your exhaustion arrived unannounced. 

No embodied masculine man who loves you and is devoted to you will take offence if you want to rest for the night or have your concerns addressed before getting back in a romantic space with him.

Want to learn the secrets that make a woman magnetic? Download your free copy of the Magnetic Woman guide here.

This approach doesn’t just serve you and your needs but also works as a great way to filter your dating connections in your beautiful single life.  And when you’re committed, this approach helps you deepen the intimacy, integrity and richness of your romantic relationship.

If there’s a man in your dating circle who cannot understand or respect your body’s needs, perhaps you don’t want to invest your time in meeting him anymore? If your partner isn’t available to understand your core needs for rest and relaxation, then perhaps your relationship has some underlying issues that need to be addressed first?

Moreover, when you learn to empathise with yourself this way, with time and practice you reach a point where you stop judging others for filling their cup first. 

You stop taking it personally if a date texts you to cancel or postpone at the last hour- for similar reasons or other. You can give your partner the space to figure out his stuff when he seems distant, without questioning your worthiness for his love and attention.

journey deeper

One of the first steps to embodying your feminine energy in your love life is to slow down, listen to your body, understand its language, honour its needs, and then show up from that place in your romantic interactions with your suitor or your lifelong partner.

In my work, I call this step the art of cultivating embodied self-care where we tend to our needs at all the five dimensions of our feminine body first and then show up in the world as nourished women with an overflowing cup to give from.

If you’d like to use the support of private coaching to learn this skill, you can learn more about my current 1-1 offerings here and explore the next steps.

And if you’re looking for a self-guided resource to learn from, you might like Your Magnetic Femininity, my core feminine embodiment course where I share with you how to care for your body in an embodied way. You can learn more about this deeply transformative offering here

related reading

An integral aspect of our feminine embodiment is our need to acknowledge our truth, our heart and the desires it holds within. In fact, one of the most unhidden secrets to living a wholehearted, emotionally fulfilling life is honouring our heart’s desires as they are. Read this article to learn about the significance of owning our heart’s desires as feminine, feeling, heart-led beings.

let’s stay connected

receive weekly feminine embodiment writings + dedicated updates on my offerings via email

    Navdeep Kalra

    Hi beauty,

    Welcome! I am Navdeep Kalra, a feminine embodiment coach, writer & meditation teacher.

    My zone of genius lies in helping sensitive, high-achieving women reconnect with their feminine essence & call in their heart’s deepest (and wildest) desires in life, love, business & money with utmost ease & pleasure.

    A previously hustle-oriented, disconnected, dis-embodied woman, through a long series of divinely orchestrated events, I discovered my way to the deeply fulfilling way of living, loving and working by returning home to my feminine essence.

    And now, it is one of my life’s deepest joys to share this life-giving wisdom with women around the world.

    1. read more