3 main reasons why we struggle with our feminine embodiment, an article for the woman who wants to liberate the obstacles to her feminine embodiment and return home to her raw, untamed, organic feminine essence.
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I was recently having a conversation with a client who had approached me to seek support with her feminine embodiment.
She shared with me how all she was expecting to receive was a reconnection with her feminine essence but this process had opened her eyes to so many things in her life that she has either numbed herself around or was choosing the avoidant strategy to navigate those challenges.
It reminded me of my own journey of feminine embodiment that first began in my hustle-filled corporate life, then created ripples of transformation in my love life and is now reflective in my business and my relationship with money.
Very often, we think of our feminine embodiment as a modality, a concept, a theory that we need to somehow ‘get’ to be truly embodied in our (feminine) essence.
But if we pause to reflect, we will realise how our feminine embodiment is simply we embodying our truest essence. We inhabiting and living in connection with who we are at our raw, organic, untamed, conditioning-free level.
This is why when we start peeling the layers of our (mostly hyper-masculine) conditioning and begin connecting with our feminine essence, it feels like we are coming back home to ourselves. To who we naturally are. To the unique design nature gifted us with.
I have noticed how when I work with women supporting them with their feminine embodiment, my subconscious is always collating the reasons why do we really struggle with our feminine embodiment.
If our essence is a part of us, why does it not come to us naturally to return home to it, to reconnect with it?
Today, I want to share with you three of those reasons I rank highest in that list. (Not a coincidence that these were the very reasons that kept me disconnected from my feminine essence for years.)
#1. Our fast-paced, effort-centred conditioning
To be able to connect with our feminine energy, we need to slow down and practice embodied presence in a given moment. But how do we do that if our conditioning since birth has been to constantly be on the move?
We have been so deeply trained to value momentum over stillness, hard work over rest and play. It’s not a surprise why so many of us lose touch with our femininity and gravitate to the far masculine end of our energy where we want to control everything in our lives, where the energy of effort-ing precedes meaningful inspired action, where busyness equals productivity.
Our default instinct is if we are not ‘doing’ enough, we are not worthy enough of the desire we are calling in.
This ends up relinquishing our feminine magnetism that is alive when we are in our ‘being’ energy, in our energy of play, rest, pleasure and flow.
One of the course students of my 7-step feminine energy activation program Rise with the Feminine shared this with me recently,
“What drew me to this program was a desire to actually feel my feminine energy vs what the mind tells me is the feminine. For the first time I have been able to feel that I have been in stagnation & freeze within myself and my emotions. This program has allowed me to see why my life has been a circle of the same thing because I only knew how to operate from the masculine & was very unhappy. Just constant go go go all the time & finally a massive exhale and relaxing and has shown me where I need to let go & release.”
This is such a simple yet powerful example of how our fast paced, effort-oriented conditioning depletes our connection with our feminine essence and becomes one of the primary obstacles to our feminine embodiment.
#2. Our somatic state
A while ago a dear friend of mine texted me after almost a year since our last conversation. A new mother of two, she was catching up with me and sharing her motherhood tales. It took me more than a week to be able to answer a simple question of ‘how are you?’
With our earth at the centre of polycrisis, I have found myself going into freeze mode more than ever. I don’t remember the last time I had to turn to my embodiment practices this frequently to regulate my somatic state.
So when her texts flashed across my mobile screen, even though I was fully embodied and aware of my state of freeze and numbness then, I wasn’t feeling anywhere close to my inner magnetism and pleasure. It was only after shifting my somatic state that I was able to receive my friend’s love and respond to her texts.
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(Side note: this is different from how I used to live my life in my disembodied years where I was completely numb and unaware of my inner world, let alone my feminine embodiment.)
So this is how our somatic state facilitates or obstructs our connection with our feminine essence:
If we are numb to our feelings and our heart’s deepest desires, the process of our feminine embodiment stays disrupted.
If our body is carrying past trauma of any kind, it doesn’t have the ‘normal’ capacity to flow, to receive, to stay open, to even feel our feelings.
If we are carrying the weight of the world in our shoulders and muscles, it’s going to create constrictions in the innate flow of our feminine energy.
This is why everything that I teach across my work, whether it’s my private coaching or my self-study resources, it’s all a blend of theoretical/ educational concepts with integrative tools like embodiment techniques, somatic meditations and conscious breathing practices.
Because we really can’t think our way into our feminine embodiment (I spent years trying to). It is through tuning into our somatic state- our feelings, our sensations, our energetic pulsations- can we arrive to our embodied truth that’s stored in our beautifully wise feminine body.
#3. Our relationship with ourselves
Often overlooked and underestimated in the list of reasons we struggle with our feminine embodiment is our relationship with ourselves.
When we set out on our journey of feminine embodiment, we are returning back to ourselves. To our core. To our essence. If we don’t have a healed/embodied relationship with ourselves, who are we going to come back to?
If we haven’t accepted who we are as we are, why will we want to come back to that version of ourselves?
Some common notions circulated in the space of new age spirituality are solely focused on raising our vibration, moving into the ascension mode, towards our higher self, etc. What many of us don’t know (including me in the past) is that this is an ideal example of spiritual bypassing.
If we can’t embrace our shadows (our grief, our rage) how are we going to illuminate and receive their medicine?
If we consider our natural gifts of vulnerability, of feeling-our-ache-and-all-our-dark-emotions.. as our weakness, how do we expect ourselves to show up in the world in embodiment of our true feminine power?
If our understanding of ‘healing’ is that we are broken and in need of fixing, how is that process of healing going to be embodied?
If we don’t know how to accept and love ourselves as we are, how are we ever going to be able to change a bad habit, break an unhelpful limiting pattern of living, loving, leading and more?
No one of us is perfect, nature is no way is perfect. It is in our imperfections that we find the beauty of being alive, of being a part of the Divine feminine ecosystem of nature and life.
When I was creating my signature 7-step feminine energy activation program Rise with the Feminine, one of the steps that found its place in the natural order of this offering was that of embodied self-love. Because time and again, I have witnessed that our self-acceptance and self-love are the origin points of our feminine embodiment.
Every single student who has learned from this program has unearthed a completely unique need in their subconscious and has gained a new perspective around loving themselves more deeply and wholly.
One of the course students sent me this email halfway through the program, “I had a family event that I decided to attend & decided that I actually wanted to look well & invested in something nice for myself to wear not cheap per usual & it was a different experience. &&& I now understand from your program why I have debt. Many many many ahas. I couldn’t understand before I have been in debt like 10*. Pay it all off & amass even bigger debt the next go around.
It was everything you said in your program. So I could finally find compassion and forgiveness for myself for acting against my own best interests. Many many gems, thank you for creating something authentic & truly helpful.”
This is how important a role our embodied self love + acceptance play in the process of our feminine embodiment. They remind us of our divine enough-ness as we continue to unravel and un-become all that we are not.
journey deeper
And so, if you’re desiring to identify + liberate the obstacles to your feminine embodiment and return home to your untamed feminine essence, I invite you to explore Rise with the Feminine, my 7-step feminine energy activation program.
This is a deeply transforming program designed to help you somatically embody your feminine essence and live, love and lead from your feminine heart + power.
So many women from around the globe have signed up to this powerful offering and are experiencing such phenomenal shifts in their inner and outer reality.
“Hi, I bought your rise with the feminine program and seriously love the program so much.
I immediately saw how I have only ever operated in the masculine & felt all the frustration of never ever having my needs met in a relationship. Just unwinding now & it feels so good.
Thank you for creating this program, I have hope that my life is improving. Looking forward to being first in my own life now as well.”
“Seriously the best investment I’ve made to step into my own feminine energy with tools I’ve learned from this program. Educational and to the point. Sort of like dusting off my own inner compass. I would recommend this program to any woman looking for a deeper self connection.”
If you too would like to reconnect with your innate feminine wisdom through this gentle yet powerful program, here’s where you can learn more about it.
Navdeep x